I know it's been a while, but I just have to say. . .

I'M MOVING TO AUSTRALIA!!

It's true. I wouldn't lie.

I know that we all make mistakes. I just wonder why some people's mistakes have to be so big or at least have such a large and painful impact. I wish for once that someone on this earth would live up to who I thought they were, not disappoint me, not hurt me, not let me down. I know it's not possible, but I still want it to be.

I wonder how something like this could happen. I wonder why. I wonder what went wrong, what happened that shouldn't have and what didn't happen that should have. I wonder what needs to change, in us, in the church, so that things like this don't keep happening. Lynn said that human beings and their emotions are complex. I suppose that we can never fully understand what goes into the decisions and actions of ourselves and others. We can only remember that their are two sides to everything and attempt to understand while extending compassion and grace.

Lynn said that because of our brokeness we are stuck in a constant cycle of restoring relationship either to God or to one another. Sometimes I wonder how we can do relationships at all with how messed up we are. It's amazing that we don't hurt each other more than we do.    

I know that one mistake doesn't erase all the good, that I can still hold on to the positive impact made in my life as I bury a hero and grieve the loss. I know that this is just one more event in my life that will shape my faith and who I am. But as I sit on the anval, sometimes I just want to look up and scream, "Stop hammering so hard."

For anyone wondering. . . .

I live on sixth street between Market and Cleveland, the soon to be named "Art District of Canton." My apartment is old and charming and beautiful with high ceilings and huge windows and an adorable little balcony. My roommate is young and charming and beautiful with brown hair and cute glasses and the name of Jessica. 

Jess and I wave to the wonderful men who own 2nd April art gallery across the street while they smoke their cigarettes. We laugh about our twenty-seven year old neighbor Jeff "never-moved-on-from-frat-life" Fehn (AKA The Shirtless Wonder) who we suspect did a few too many drugs in his day and who one day informed us that he threw his back out carrying a keg up the stairs to his apartment. He's crazy but we love him anyway. We share stories about Bob the apartment manager who does and says ridiculous things like "Now, you're not allowed to paint here. You used to be allowed to paint, but not anymore. There were two men who lived here, and they painted one room black, one room midnight blue, one room pink. . .they were, how do I put this nicely. . . .*long pause, sigh*. . . . .HOMOSEXUAL." We try to be extra nice to Bob in hopes that he will let us paint.   

I work at Starbucks, a land flowing with milk and expresso, where I make drinks and people's day using quality ingredients, genuine care, and cheap humor. I love my coworkers, and they love me. We make work fun by doing things like answering the drivethru saying "Welcome to Frappaccino World! My name's Caramel! What can I get for you today?" 

I find life to be mysterious and surprising, confusing and painful, breathtaking and beautiful, magical and adventurous. . .

"We live in a world of enchantment, a world of wonders where drama and purpose are always at hand, for those with eyes to see. . . . 'It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or another of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics.' . . .I believe the Kingdom of God is always at hand. Its points of entry are everywhere around us. They are as near as a decision to truly care for someone who needs us, rather than just be pleasant and polite. To act in the face of injustice, rather than accept the world as it is. To do something good with all our mind and strength. To stop making peace with our doubts. To question for once what others expect of us. To find something to celebrate. To weep over our sins. To pray. It's impossible to know where such things will lead us- they may even threaten to lead us to places we don't want to go. But they will surely lead us into the Kingdom, and they will surely lead us to the adventure and the abundant life to which Jesus calls us."  

Grace and peace.

I'm convinced that two year olds know exactly where it's at. The best question is "why?"  

latest "official" news:

1) I am officially a Starbucks employee! Come visit me at the new Massillon Starbucks opening July 31st. I will help feed your caffiene addiction.

2) Due to latest news number one (see above) I am also officially living in Canton at the home of the lovely and noble Celia King. Come visit me there too! We will help feed your people addiction.

3) Apparently people grow well into their 20's. Before I would have scoffed at such a statement, but now I am a living testimony to it. No longer can I scoff. I found out that in the last couple years I have grown five-eighths of an inch and am officially 5'9. Can I get any taller?

4) I am officially obsessed with Nicklecreek. I simply cannot get enough.

5) And finally, I am officially dating Harry Potter. He's so fly!